No Show

I have made up my mind not to attend a "friend's" wedding.

Two years ago, when he told me that he's seriously considering tying the knot with his longtime girlfriend, I almost fell off my chair. To me, it was the final straw! I have suffered long enough so the moment he broke the news, I knew it was the end of the road.

I met him through a college friend. We exchanged numbers and that started it all, for me, that is. I was just fresh out of college that time, never been kissed, totally innocent in other words, then he came rushing by and I got trapped.. He was everything I wanted my man to be --- driven, smart, focused, passionate...The list goes on and on. However, I knew that I didn't stand a chance. We did get along well but it simply wasn't enough.Then something knocked me on the head.. I can't possibly waste my time on a man who will never be completely mine..

Reading through his wedding invite was sheer torture. Here was the man who kept me wide awake at 2:00 in the morning, just so I could help him get through the pains of a college thesis he was working on. He hounded me with phone calls everytime he was back in town and geez, I was a willing victim. To him, all these could have meant nothing but to me, it meant laying my heart on the line.

All this time, he has no clue that years ago, he broke my heart into pieces and left it bleeding, incapable of healing itself. Not only once have I thought of facing the "devil" head-on. I wanted to blurt it out to him that he made me fall without him noticing it. My purpose? To finally put an end to this vicious cycle and eventually redeem myself from a trap I got myself into.

I would have wanted to see him walk down the aisle on the happiest day of his life but I love myself more. The years I have wasted whining over "what could have been" is a thing of the past. I have buried it all and never will I look back...