In one of my Literature classes, a student raised his hand and asked me point-blank what I consider the toughest challenge of my life so far. I came up with only one answer: MATHEMATICS.

If there is one thing that I regret most about my childhood, it would have to be the time I received a 79% mark in Mathematics for the first grading period. I was in Grade six then.

It certainly had nothing to do with the teacher. She was quite aware that most of her students found the subject too intimidating. To me, it seemed like I was dragging my feet everytime I got to her class. Despite this, she tried all possible means to make her subject more appealing to her mathematically-challenged pupils —– me included. But I just couldn’t bring myself to even half-heartedly enjoy numbers.

Let me put it clearly, I knew the four mathematical operations by heart. It’s piece of cake to me. What I really find nerve-racking were the more complex processes such as equations, fractions, exponents and the like. My unfavorable quiz and exam results must hyave compelled my teacher to give me the axe. I knew it was coming but the confirmation on my report card nailed it! It left a big blow which nearly cost me my self-esteem. It scarred me for life.

High school was quite an ordeal. My nemesis appeared in the guise of Geometry, Algebra and Trigonometry. I barely opened my other notes because I have made it my personal mission to face the enemy head-on. Although I didn’t receive any grade lower than 85 in all my subjects and I believed I have improved dramatically in Math, it was still not enough to make me have a change of heart.

Filling up college application forms was relatively an easy task for me because I had one goal in mind—- to get rid of Math! So I opted to take a degree in English. However it was not what I pictured it to be.

On my first year, the phoenix had risen from its ashes. Dealing with x’s and y’s all over again was enough reason for me to pass out. Just when I knew I was off the hook, my biggest nightmare had come back to life to torture me even more. I so wanted to speed up the clock from ticking and put an end to this relentless woe which was virtually crippling my existence day in day out.

The school year eventually ended and thank heavens, I didn’y flunk my Math subjects. Up to this day, I have no idea how I was able to get through that ordeal.

Truth be told, I have high esteem for individuals who can solve mathematical problems even with their eyes closed. I’m amazed by their overwhelming knack for numbers. I acknowledge that it’s a talent, a gift which unfortunately was not made readily available for me. I am not in the least complaining. Besides, one cannot always have it all. There’s bound to be something missing.

My antipathy toward numbers only represents a speck of my personal frailties. I can list a whole lot more. It seems that the older I get, the more I discover that I am truly imperfect. However, this discovery of my numerous weaknesses somehow lead me to a better appreciation of the things that I already have.

Although we are often judged by our shortcomings and flaws which I think is utterly unfair, the fact still remains that it is not what defines who we are. It is our character.

I am no math wizard and I never will be. It doesn’t make me less of a person, does it? I will no longer dwell much on the things that are missing in my life but rather, I will celebrate the wonderful things that I’m blessed with.After all, it’s not about having what you want but wanting what you have.