"O hija, ikaw, kelan ka ikakasal?"

Aarrggh!I dread going to family reunions, gatherings, weddings, birthdays (you name it!), due to this seemingly innocent query.

I have ceased accepting invitations, unless it’s from somebody I can’t simply have the heart declining, for fear of running into someone who wouldn’t get off my back until I gave a satisfying answer for each personal question hurled at me. Lest I be mistaken as an arrogant snob, I politely flash a nonchalant grin.

Funny how I once looked forward to seeing a familiar face in a crowd of strangers whom I can readily start a conversation with. It almost seemed like letting out a sigh of relief knowing that I won’t be sitting by my lonesome, getting ignored by guests who seemed to be acquainted with everyone except me.

When my inconsiderate and all too eager high school and college friends started tying the knot with the men who they claimed changed (or distorted?) their vision of love, I resolved to stay away from the prying eyes of the nosy public. It goes without saying that these insensitive people will annoyingly hound me wherever I go, making fun of the fact that I still have no ring to show off.

Their "false concern" on my imminent spinsterhood has always fascinated me. I couldn’t believe that at 27, people perceive me as a pathetic and desperate old maid.I could perhaps attribute it to the impeded Filipino mindset.

In this country, if a woman is way past the marrying age, tongues start wagging and silly thoughts of a jilted bride suddenly arises or worse, rumors will spread that no man has found her worth lusting over. How mean!

A few weeks ago, a bachelor cousin of mine who works as an analyst at Goldman Sachs came over for a short visit. Out of the blue, my mother asked him if he had any single friends whom he could hook up with me. The height of desperation from a wailing mother over her daughter’s shameful singlehood! My cousin amusingly retorted, "What? You want her to marry? She’s only 27. She’s quite young!" Thank God, I have found an ally!

Marriage is not a question of how old you are, besides, age is only just a freaking number! I have seen exceptionally accomplished women achievers who still refuse to take the plunge for fear of losing their independence and be weighed down by numerous responsibilities.

I do not, in any way, regret my choice to stay single. It has made me appreciate myself even more: my strengths, my weaknesses, my ideals, my character. If I opted to have married at a younger age, I doubt if I had been able to travel, or party all night to my heart’s content or splurge on that pricey pump stilletos without any feeling of guilt.

Sure, I would also love to see myself walking down tha aisle, preferably in a Lhuillier gown, gazing at the eyes of the man in tuxedo whom I will spend the rest of my life with. However, a wedding only lasts for a day. The days and years following the wedding is the actual marriage. That, my friends, is something I have not prepared myself for, just yet.

I have always been optimistic about finding "The One." It probably wouldn’t hurt if I wait a little bit more. Things done in haste always spell disaster while those endured by time are what makes life worth living.

In the meantime, let me enjoy my life as a single woman, free and unattached, in the way I know how. This is my choice. If I am not bothered, then, why would you be?