I turned a year older a few weeks ago..Frankly speaking, I was not so thrilled. It finally dawned on me that come next year, I’ll be 30.Shucks!

At 5, people ask you what you want to be when you grow up.You come up with answers that your parents imposed on you — a doctor, lawyer, teacher, nurse and what have you.I remember quite well that at such an early age, my answer had always been: teacher.For my birthday and even during Christmas, I wished for a mini blackboard and a box of multi-colored chalk. I think every kid has gone through the same phase. I would incessantly prod my Lolo to buy me this blackboard which had the English alphabet and on the left corner was a mini clock.When I finally had it, I was ready to die. That was my first passion.My Lolo had it nailed on the wall so I could finally live out my dream.

At 10, people remind you that you shouldn’t be joining conversations of elders because it’s improper. But when you get into a fight with your younger brother, the same people remind you that you’re no longer a kid and that you’re supposed to know right from wrong.So how should a ten-year old kid react?

At 15, everybody warns you about boys and how you should try to stay away from them because they’re no good! Back in high school, I got scared to death when a classmate asked me if he could walk me home.The nerve! Even if it was the 90’s,teenage couples who were seen together were frowned upon. Unlike now, high school kids are way too liberal.They hug and hold hands in public.In fact,when they notice people staring at them, they take it a step further. How I miss those days of youthful innocence..

At 20, fresh from college and ready to conquer the world, you think you can finally get hold of your life.You can make decisions on your own.You can go out without permission.In other words, you have a life.But lo and behold, you are still the same dependent, immature, good-for-nothing rascal! When I finally got a job as a real teacher, I began planning my life ahead. I had so many things in mind.A master’s degree, a fat bank account, a trophy boyfriend.And the list goes on and on..Then I slowed down.That’s when reality hit me.I still did not have a life! The very thought of enjoying independence thrilled me.In fact, I wanted to move out of the house but realizing that I couldn’t afford it, I stayed under the protective wings of my aunt which meant that I still have to obey the house rules and all the things that come with it like curfew, limited phone calls etc.

At 25, you finally tell yourself that you’ve had enough! My biggest pet peeve is being asked when I’ll tie the knot.The heck! I’ve seen so many failed marriages so I’m starting to have second thoughts about the "great plunge." I also owe it to the attachment I have with single life. It’s the only kind of life that I know.To suddenly have a transition from being a uni to a bi (as in two) is too much to bear for me.I’m used to being on my own well as far as deciding what Value Meal to get or what movie to watch.Haha! But seriously, I’m having a hard time managing myself, so how do you expect me to care for somebody else? Sure, I also want to be somebody’s object of affection but until the right man comes along, I’d still be singing the same tune..

And oh, I almost forgot, the JOB! Anybody who has been doing the same thing for the past six years will eventually experience a burnout!I’m a living proof.During my first two years as a teacher,every morning was a blessing to me.(It still is but in a different view). I looked forward to each morning knowing that I’ll be doing what I ‘ve always wanted to: teaching. I was idealistic then..I was convinced that I could change the world but I was proven wrong.On my third year, a huge rock hit me on the head.I’ve become aware of the tricks of the trade.I’ve learned that what you see is not always what it is. You also have to accept the harsh reality that you have to deal with rude, egoistic and arrogant people in the workplace.The sad part is, they’re there on a regular basis and some would move heaven and earth to make your life miserable.There are simply people who gain pleasure from seeing others in pain and misery.That’s just the way it is..Despite this, I think I still enjoy my job but admittedly, I’m not as passionate as I used to be.However, I look at each morning now as an opportunity to revive whatever was lost in me..My idealism, my passion, my zest for life! Naks!

There’s no way I could turn back the hands of time. Gone are the days when I would giggle at the sight of my high school crush or when finding a cute scented stationery was enough to get me high.Haayy..The innocence of youth is truly one of the best things in life! If we could only nurture the child within us, then and only then can we appreciate the simple joys of life..