Confessions of A Cheapskate!

I used to spend much on clothes. I even had to terminate my credit card account because my impulsive buying started getting me into trouble. But things have changed and I'd like to think that over the years, there's a great deal of maturity that I nurtured as far as my spending habits are concerned.

It's quite serendipitous that while I was recovering from impulsive buying disorder, I have found joy in thrift shops, or commonly known as ukay-ukay. Initially, I was uncomfortable with the thought of putting on a piece of clothing that was used by God knows who. But the practical side of it won me over. The trick to getting rid of the bacteria and dust is to wash it over hot, or possibly, boiling water. And voila, it's as good as new!

With a lot of patience in tow, an ukay-ukay amateur can turn into a pro once she gets over the initial shock that comes with digging on a rubble of dusty clothes. There's a certain degree of pride in finding a great item that no one has seen or discovered. You wouldn't believe how many items I have stashed in a matter of 30 minutes! My great buys never fail to bring me immense joy, something that I don't get from buying in a mall shop. When I hand over my hard-earned money to the cashier in a mall, I end up feeling guilty because I pay so much for something that I know I can get at a much cheaper price elsewhere. All too suddenly, paying Php900 for one plain top has become a crime. Given the same amount, I can bring home at least 8 pieces from an ukay-ukay shop! That's a huge difference!

Call me a cheapskate, I couldn't care less. I just want to get my money's worth because I work hard for it.

Here are my great finds!

It's Just A Fantasy

Every woman's fantasy is a closet full of designer clothes, bags and shoes. I am no exception. But since I cannot turn this into reality yet (perhaps, not even in this lifetime), I will rest content feasting my eyes on photos of beautiful walk-in closets. Indulge!

The Winner Is...

My 13 years of teaching experience has enriched my life in more ways than one. I learned to love the profession that I initially did not see myself pursuing. My early years were a struggle but the numerous rewards I gained from teaching compelled me to stay on because in my heart, I certainly made the right choice.

I am deeply honored that the learners I hold dear have given me a distinction, something I never expected. It is a validation that my heart is truly in the right place --- TEACHING.

Sale Ba Kamo?

NOTE: I want to emphasize that I'm not an impulsive buyer. Now, I can proceed with my entry.


Long weekends have a way of enticing people to make plans for short trips and getaways. While city dwellers were flocking to their respective hometowns, I made an "emergency" trip to a nearby province by my lonesome. My Saturday class was cancelled because my professor was on an out-of-town trip. Instead of taking a bus ride home, I made a detour which brought me to my favorite shopping place in the region.

I wasn't there to splurge since I only had a few in my wallet. I just wanted to relax a bit and have some quality time with myself. :) Little did I know that almost all the shops had this huge red tag on its glass windows. And you know this is something that a girl finds hard to resist.

I rarely go out by myself. It's either I'm with family or with my significant other. However, there is something quite liberating about doing things your way. The thought that no one was there to dissuade me from making a purchase, or no one would make me feel guilty about lusting over an outrageously expensive item made me feel that for once, I am in control.

I hopped from one store to another, patiently scouring their racks for items that would fit my personal style and most importantly, my limited budget. I found so many lovely pieces but I just had to let go of some. If they're meant for me, they'd still be there on my next visit.

Can't wait!

10 Things That Every Woman Should Have

Every woman deserves to have a little of life's comforts. It doesn't have to come with a price tag but if one works so hard to make a living, a little reward wouldn't hurt.

I have come up with a list of the 10 things that every woman should have. I personally do not have everything on the list but who knows, a good soul might read this blog and hopefully feel the need to be a Fairy Godmother to me. Haha, dream on!

10. Little Black Dress
This should be a staple in every woman's closet. Its functionality and versatility have done wonders to me. In the past, every time I get invited to an event on a short notice, I panic right away. Thank heavens, I have a few pieces that always do the trick.

9. A Perfect Pair of Jeans
Getting one has been quite a challenge. I am the type whose weight can be described as erratic. Blame it on my genes, no pun intended. I easily gain weight especially if I start bingeing on food that I love. And I have a major issue with my hips. The key, I think, is to identify one's body type. A few misses here and there will eventually lead one to the perfect jeans.

8. Red or Black Pumps
I think one of the best fashion tips we heard from our mothers while growing up was "Your shoes can make or break your wardrobe." Indeed, mothers know best! I have chosen red and black, again, for its versatility. Plus, it can be matched practically with any color.

7. A Sturdy Bag
When I was in my early 20s, my bags could fit a tiny wallet and a small make-up purse. That was it for me. Low maintenance ba. But when I reached my late 20s, I found out that my "essentials" could no longer fit in a small purse. My first consideration in buying a bag is its size. It should fit my wallet, make-up purse, two cellphones, iPod, medicine pouch, alcohol, hand towel, umbrella and my water bottle. Hindi kaya maleta ang dapat dalhin ko? Haha!

6. Camera
If there is any gadget that I cannot live without, it's my ever reliable digital camera. I had it for years and I must say, it is a worthy investment. A picture is a memory captured on film and it lasts forever. It's amazing how one moment can be relived through a glossy paper. I keep it in my bag in case a random special moment occurs.

5. A Comfy Bed
To some, sleep is a luxury. That's why when we get free time from work and school duties, we make it a point to hit the sack for a well-deserved rest and sleep. I personally want a super comfy bed that will make me want to hate getting up in the morning.

4. A Favorite Book
Not all women are book lovers but at one point in their lives, they have read something that somehow changed how they look at life. My favorite book of all time is Wuthering Heights. The enduring love story of Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff is both endearing and disturbing. I hated Heathcliff for his vengeful nature but I learned to love him for this same reason. He comes from a place where forgiveness and redemption do not exist. But in the end, Bronte made sure that Heathcliff's character will be remembered for generations of readers.

3. A Journal
A movie line once said that a woman's heart is a chamber full of secrets. I couldn't agree more! Mostly, these thoughts need to be written down so it won't be forgotten and constantly revisited so their lessons will forever linger on. The best way to immortalize thoughts and feelings is to write it all in a journal. This "hobby" has become a therapy to me. If I cannot pour out what's inside of me, I turn it into a piece of writing. It always works! I will be forever grateful to my friend Carrie who gave me a Moleskine journal for my birthday years ago. However, that notebook will always be under lock and key.

2. A Pair of Diamond Earrings (or diamond ring)
A diamond is a girl's best friend, right? Lucky you if it was given as an heirloom. At least, you'll save yourself a few bucks. It doesn't come cheap, you know. But truly, a diamond has a way of making one feel so valued and loved.

1. A Stamped Passport
This is one of the things you can find in my bucket list -- to travel the world. I have started quite late but so far the experiences I gained from my few travels have enriched my life immensely. There is so much to learn in every culture and every nation. Personally, I have learned that understanding others' culture is the best way to understand our own.

Boys to Men

There is something sweet about a man who is not ashamed to show his affection to his mother.

I grew up in a generation that is intolerant of a man who is extremely devoted to his mother. Admittedly, there was a time when I'd almost cringe at the sight of a man being treated like a boy by his mother. But when it's the son who spoils and pampers his mother, I can't hep but watch in awe.

Our culture does not allow a boy at a young age to show any emotions that could reveal his vulnerability. Thus, when he becomes an adult, he consciously makes an effort to maintain a tough demeanor even in the midst of crisis.

I know quite a few men who do not miss a single chance to show their mothers how much they are loved. Call them Mama's boys, if you wish. I call them REAL MEN. And for that, they have earned my respect because they remain true to the values their mothers instilled in them.

I have heard so many times that the best way to find out if a man has the makings of a good partner, observe how he treats his mother. I have proven that myself. :)

Lunch Date (Pare Ko Generation)

It's always a thrill to hang out with people who knew you way before everybody else did. I have met new and interesting characters through the years but nothing compares to the level of closeness and intimate friendship that I have shared with the people who I grew up with. Truly, high school friends have a way of keeping you grounded. :)

It's amazing that after all these years, it feels like nothing has changed at all.

Letter to a Daughter

Almost 12 years ago, my mother wrote this heartwarming letter for my birthday. Every single time that I re-read it, I shed tears. Truly, a mother's love is infinite.

STAMPED

‎Nine days before Christmas, I did something I haven't done in a long time -- send real greeting cards via air mail. It wasn't something that I planned. The idea just came out of nowhere.

I was tasked by my principal to accompany our student writers for a campus journalism competition. Right after the contest proper, we all headed to the mall for lunch. We agreed to meet up after a few hours. I dropped by a bookstore to search for books that I could read for the holidays. I couldn't find any that caught my interest until I saw the greeting cards section. I scanned a few and before I knew it, I had at least five on hand. I, then, searched for a cozy spot in the food court where I could write a short note for the people who will be receiving my cards. After I sealed the envelope, I was ready to go to ... (drum roll, please!)... the POST OFFICE! As I was about to leave, I ran into my students who were on their way back to the venue. I told them that I just might come a little late because I had to mail a few Christmas cards. To my horror, they replied, "Huh, Ma'am, uso pa ba yan? Wala na po atang post office ngayon." Then, it hit me, these days, no one really goes out of his way to send cards or letters via mail. Okay, so I'm too old school. Fine!

You might not agree with me but nothing really comes close to a handwritten letter. It is much more personal than an email or e-card that reaches the receiver in a matter of seconds. A handwritten letter has a heartwarming way of making you feel special because the sender took some time and effort to let you know that he cares...

POSTSCRIPT: I could not believe when the lady behind the window asked for Php55.00 for each! The last time I sent a card, I was charged Php18. Was it really that long ago??

My "Pay-It-Forward" Moment

I used to think that most teens of this generation are apathetic and indifferent. I have just been proven wrong...

Earlier, one student's random act of kindness warmed my heart in more ways than one. Just when I needed someone to help me clean up others' mess, he appeared right on cue. He could have opted to leave as everybody else did but he didn't. I asked him why he was still around and he replied that he was waiting for his father to come pick him up. I reckon, a tiny voice in his head must have told him that someone in the classroom was on the brink of getting buried under a rubble of trash.

It's true then -- the real test of character is when someone does something good when no one is around. May your tribe increase, kid!

Ask Me Not!

There are three annoying questions that I wish I would never have to answer again:

1. How much do you earn?
2. How old are you?
3. When are you getting married?

I will explain in detail why I find these questions insulting and disrespectful.

The first question has no other purpose but to gauge a person's worth. I have been asked this question many times and even now, I purposely evade it for the simple reason that it just doesn't deserve an answer. Whether one is earning too much or too little, it doesn't sound right when he becomes too vocal about his salary. Yes it's true that most of us are judged by the number of zeros we have in our paycheck. However, we seem to forget that one's income has nothing to do with the quality of life that one has. A paycheck should not dictate one's character. It should never be mistaken as an indicator of one's worth. Because ultimately, a paycheck is only a piece of paper. What matters is how well you spend every single cent that you earn.

The second question is always a touchy subject. Back in my 20s, I would eagerly give an immediate reply because there was nothing to be ashamed of. Being 20-something IS a badge of honor and generally, people would always want what they do not have. I often heard people say that I have to make the most of my youth because it passes by so quickly. One moment it's there, the next it has gone out of the window. Now that I'm in my early 30s, my view of the world has changed. And along with it is how I view aging. I detest answering this question because it gives way to many implications. One, I have not built a house for myself. Two, I am not yet married. Three, I have not given birth yet. Yes, I lie about my age. But it's not because I am ashamed of it. I would say I am still in the stage of denial. Allow me to accept it first with all my heart. It will come but not now.

The final question is in a league of its own. First, it becomes a simple annoyance, then it progresses into an insult, a mockery and then eventually, a crime. I don't find this simple query amusing. Behind its innocent guise is a wicked figure. I have personally tried to answer it the best way I could but when it gets too intrusive, I totally lose my temper. I don't want to appear rude to anyone but some people are plain insensitive and they just need to be made aware how far they could go. I often wonder if they would foot the bill for the wedding because they seem more excited than I am. The worst part is, it doesn't end there. When I give an answer that doesn't satisfy them at all, they start lecturing about how risky it would be if I conceive at a later age. As if I didn't know that! My argument is, why can't they just let me be? My decision to marry now or later won't even have a direct effect on them anyway. Some marry early for a reason. While others marry at a later age, also, for a reason. In the end, I will make a decision based on my beliefs and convictions, and not because I gave in to the pressure of the people around me who think they know better.

Finally, I let it all out. Whew, that was a relief!

My Tribute to Hogwarts

I watched the last installment of HP with a heavy heart. It seemed as though I was saying goodbye to people, or more aptly characters, I have known for years.

I take my hat off to Snape, my favorite character. Way before I read Book 7, I knew you weren't who you portrayed yourself to be. My instincts proved me right. Your character is indeed a contradiction and I loved what you stood up for --- ultimate sacrifice. You opted to be depicted as a villain but in reality, you had a genuine heart for people you cared most about. For that alone, you are a hero.

Many thanks J.K. Rowling, for transporting me back to my childhood. For a time, Hogwarts was my virtual "refuge" whenever I felt like getting away from this crazy real world. As a young adult who is constantly plagued by apathy and cynicism, I found comfort in your magical world because you have made me believe in the triumph of good over evil. But more importantly, you have taught me that the best magic there is, is the magic of love.

What's Your Story?

I love watching people in their unguarded moments. Earlier,while having quick merienda at a fastfood joint, I couldn't help but stare at two interesting characters. One was a young mother sitting next to her son. The boy was eating his pasta with gusto unmindful of his mother who was shedding tears while texting on her phone. When I caught her wiping her tears, she looked away. I knew she was going through something really painful. At a nearby table was an old man who was devouring a plateful of fresh lumpia by his lonesome. I was wondering if he had any children he could share his meal with. Truly, EACH HAS A STORY TO TELL. What's yours?

Nostalgia

June 26 (Manila time): It is Day 7 of relentless downpour! When you have too much of something, you just want to scream and say, "I've had enough!" I am breaking my silence -- I've had enough of the rain! My whole week had been unproductive. I guess that's what happens when the first day of the working week falls on a holiday and coupled with heavy rainfall. The succeeding days were worse as announcements of classes being suspended were made. The week just went by with little opportunities for growth.

However,there is something in the rain that brings nostalgia. Poignant memories of the distant past come to life when it rains. Certain emotions resonate when memories of it are triggered. To me, the one that triggered these memories is the rain. Creepy!

My Top 5 List

(Indulge me, I am bored!)

Signs that you're no longer a bagets:
1. You can't watch a Kimerald movie anymore. Di na bagay sa edad! :)
2. You keep in secrecy your eternal admiration for Sharon and Gabby.
3. Your idea of a cool guy is MacGyver.
4. Your favorite teenage song is I Get Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson.
5. You still enjoy reruns of Batibot, John en Marsha, Flying House, Superbook and Baywatch!
** Guilty beyond reasonable doubt!

What does summer mean to me?

1.I don't need to get up at 5:30 in the morning.
2.I don't need to rush to work to have my finger scanned at exactly 7:30.
3.I can finally catch up on my reading -- my "patay oras" activity.
4.I can devour bowls of ice cream without any tinge of guilt.
5.I can respond to invites in the affirmative.
Summer should be all year round! :)

Dear 2011, be kind to me..

It's a brand new year --- another year to map out what I want to accomplish for 2011. I don't even know where to begin. All I know is, I am very optimistic and hopeful that this year will bring new and better changes in my life.

1. I will visit a new destination this year -- explore whatever this world has to offer.

2. I will show up in parties and gatherings that I have been invited to.

3. I will shop less but earn more in order to give more.

4. I will try to finish my academic subjects in the Graduate School so I can finally receive my long overdue diploma.

5. I will not entertain negative thoughts.

6. I will not overanalyze as it usually triggers my paranoia.

7. I will master the art of accepting reality no matter how harsh it may seem. (Nega ulit!)

8. I will try to reach out to people I have wronged in the past with the hope that better friendships will be nurtured.

9. I will be more forgiving of others.

10. I will be a better version of myself.

Life's Little Surprises

Look what I found in my mailbox today -- a personally-signed card from no less than THE Paulo Coelho!

A few months ago, I was reading his blog and saw testimonials from people who received a personal card from this literary giant. I found a link where I could write a short message and immediately after I hit the send button, a reminder flashed saying that the card might be received sometime later as Mr. Coelho prefers to have all his cards in bulk before he affixes his signature. So the message was sent and I completely forgot about it... until today!!!

Receiving fan mails is one thing I haven't gotten over.. What a shame!

Thank you, Mr. Coelho for making my day!!

My 2010 In A Nutshell

When December comes, I can't help but look back at the year that was. My 2010 IS (present tense because technically the year is not yet over)truly a roller coaster of emotions, hits and misses and also of personal triumphs. It may not have been the best year of my life but it surely left valuable lessons that I will carry with me as I welcome another promising year.

My 2010 in snippets:

1. A reunion in 2009 made "something" possible.. Something that I once thought of as a totally far-fetched possibility suddenly became a reality right before my very eyes. I did everything I could to veer away from that direction but all were in vain. When it comes, we all surrender. And boy, I did.

2. I had been a victim of cyberbullying. The details are better left unsaid but the lessons it brought shook my being to the very core. People can be harsh and so to protect oneself, it is much better to TRUST NO ONE. However I don't want to be so cynical in dealing with the world. I would just adhere to these short words: TRUST A FEW.

3. I knew with certainty who were being true to me at my lowest point. And I appreciate them even more because they stood by me and believed in me all the way. For that alone, I am so blessed.

4. I learned the value of family. Our faith was shaken at the first quarter of the year but through constant prayers and our unwavering belief in the goodness and mercy of God, we have surpassed a major test with a deeper understanding of God's purpose to each of us.

5. I have gone back to school. And to me, that is the fulfillment of a promise I made to myself a couple of years back. I put it on hold for the longest time but I am bent on finishing this the soonest time possible.

6. I am finally taking control of my finances. It used to be the other way around. The culture of materialism has totally changed the spending habits of people. We often equate designer items with "the good life." People somehow fail to see that items do not define one's character. Now, before I make a purchase, I ask myself first if the item is necessary or it's plain vanity. Chances are, I put it back in the rack and head straight home.

7. There's no use holding on to old feelings, especially if it won't be reciprocated. Welcome new people who see your worth and won't keep you waiting in vain.

8. You don't die from harsh words used against you by some people. It will break you into pieces only if you allow it, but otherwise,you'll be fine.