Life's Little Surprises

Look what I found in my mailbox today -- a personally-signed card from no less than THE Paulo Coelho!

A few months ago, I was reading his blog and saw testimonials from people who received a personal card from this literary giant. I found a link where I could write a short message and immediately after I hit the send button, a reminder flashed saying that the card might be received sometime later as Mr. Coelho prefers to have all his cards in bulk before he affixes his signature. So the message was sent and I completely forgot about it... until today!!!

Receiving fan mails is one thing I haven't gotten over.. What a shame!

Thank you, Mr. Coelho for making my day!!

My 2010 In A Nutshell

When December comes, I can't help but look back at the year that was. My 2010 IS (present tense because technically the year is not yet over)truly a roller coaster of emotions, hits and misses and also of personal triumphs. It may not have been the best year of my life but it surely left valuable lessons that I will carry with me as I welcome another promising year.

My 2010 in snippets:

1. A reunion in 2009 made "something" possible.. Something that I once thought of as a totally far-fetched possibility suddenly became a reality right before my very eyes. I did everything I could to veer away from that direction but all were in vain. When it comes, we all surrender. And boy, I did.

2. I had been a victim of cyberbullying. The details are better left unsaid but the lessons it brought shook my being to the very core. People can be harsh and so to protect oneself, it is much better to TRUST NO ONE. However I don't want to be so cynical in dealing with the world. I would just adhere to these short words: TRUST A FEW.

3. I knew with certainty who were being true to me at my lowest point. And I appreciate them even more because they stood by me and believed in me all the way. For that alone, I am so blessed.

4. I learned the value of family. Our faith was shaken at the first quarter of the year but through constant prayers and our unwavering belief in the goodness and mercy of God, we have surpassed a major test with a deeper understanding of God's purpose to each of us.

5. I have gone back to school. And to me, that is the fulfillment of a promise I made to myself a couple of years back. I put it on hold for the longest time but I am bent on finishing this the soonest time possible.

6. I am finally taking control of my finances. It used to be the other way around. The culture of materialism has totally changed the spending habits of people. We often equate designer items with "the good life." People somehow fail to see that items do not define one's character. Now, before I make a purchase, I ask myself first if the item is necessary or it's plain vanity. Chances are, I put it back in the rack and head straight home.

7. There's no use holding on to old feelings, especially if it won't be reciprocated. Welcome new people who see your worth and won't keep you waiting in vain.

8. You don't die from harsh words used against you by some people. It will break you into pieces only if you allow it, but otherwise,you'll be fine.

I Heart December

December is only a week away and I can't wait. If there's one thing I look forward to year in year out, it's the month of December. Why? Well, let me count the ways:

1. December has the shortest working days in a year. That alone is something to be happy about. :)

2. To employees like me, December is a happy month because it is synonymous to Christmas bonus and additional incentives. Therefore, it is the time of the month when we can splurge!

3. December happens to be the birth month of several of my closest friends. Is it a coincidence that they were all born in December? Cristina, my travel buddy; Maricar, my love guru; Mariegen, my appointed shrink; and Dan, my pleasant surprise.

4. It is only during this month that I receive greeting cards via air mail. I repeat, air mail, folks! Yes, the traditional snail mail that we all thought was obsolete. I love technology but this is one of those that I don't want to be "endangered" by modern tech. When I receive a card, it makes me feel so special because the person who sent it took his time out to go to a bookstore, scour through the multiple stacks of greeting cards, read the message inside, pick out the one that would capture what he wanted to say, write a short note to make it more personal, seal it and drop it at a post office with the hope that it will reach the receiver just in time for the holidays. Amazing!

5. December is the only time I receive gifts from people. Enough said! :)

6. It is only during this month that we are allowed to eat and devour to our heart's, and even to our stomach's content. Dieting is a sin!

7. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I think the most wonderful memories of my life happened during the Christmas season. My childhood was filled with memories of tiptoeing at night when everyone was fast asleep to check on my Santa paperbag hanging on a nail placed strategically in our wooden staircase. To my horror, the bag was always empty. However, in the morning, it was filled with all the goodies that I wished for. I often wondered how I could have missed another Santa sighting. Just don't ask how I eventually discovered Santa. :)

8. December reminds me of the value of family. That no matter how many parties you go to, you will still long for the company of the people who matter most to you. I always look forward to coming home and sharing a good laugh with the people who will undoubtedly stand by me when everybody else has turned away.

9. It is the perfect time to look back at the year that was -- the blessings, the triumphs, the joys, the pains, the frustrations and disappointments. However, the good should always outweigh the bad. Life is beautiful!

10. December to me is an oxymoron in itself. It is the end but it is also the beginning -- the end to a year that was either a hit or a miss but a beginning to a better year and possibly, a better life.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

What Is Life To You?

I found this very heartwarming poems/ articles and it just totally changed my perspective on how life should be lived. Read on...


A Life That Matters


Ready or not, some day will die, all will come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten,
Will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and
Jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from,
Or on what side of the tracks you lived at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built;
not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity,
Compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
Empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
But how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
By whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

What's In The Bag?

Here are my bag essentials:

1. Moleskine notebook
2. Shuffle
3. kikay kit
4. ballpens (black, blue and red)
5. wallet
6. hairbrush
7. tissue pack
8. cologne
9. mobile phone

My Random Musings

Allow me to share some of my thoughts on matters that perhaps at one point may have crossed your mind but you simply dismissed as unimportant or trivial to even waste time on. The complete list of my personal thoughts is written on my Moleskine journal but since I can't share all, (some are way too personal for public consumption) I just selected a few that might hit a chord and hopefully you can learn from...


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ON FRIENDSHIP

Correct me if I am wrong with this observation: Marami sa atin ang aabot sa sampu o higit pa ang mga kaibigan. Pero kung papansinin nyo,iilan lang talaga sa kanila yung kaya mong yayain na kumain sa labas o manood ng sine o magbabad sa bahay na kayong dalawa lang. Yung one-on-one pero never ka makakaramdam ng boredom.Sa makatuwid,iilan ding tao ang talagang komportable tayong kasama. Enlighten me.


We share various thoughts and ideas to people close to us --- book & movie choices, lifelong dreams, political and religious views, etc. However, there are certain matters that we confide only to a chosen few or sometimes to a chosen ONE. Matters that require a certain amount of trust and confidentiality. So far, I think my instincts have not failed me.


I hate it when somebody who tries to pass herself up as a friend suddenly becomes overly concerned but in truth, she just wants to see you wallow in misery and despair. I can tell if it's genuine concern or otherwise.


We may not understand the choice of partner of our friends but don't we all want them to be happy? Our opinions would not matter at all. As long as they are in a loving relationship,who are we to object?


ON LOVE AND BEING LOVED


When I was younger, I used to believe in a fairy tale wonderland where a guy will sweep me off my feet and build me a castle. Now that I'm older, I realized it only happens in the movies. We can't simply push away someone just because he does not conform to our ideal man archetype.


A person may appear in your life to teach you a lesson or two about love. He doesn't need to stay for long. Sometimes he just simply walks away. It's a harsh reality but then there are lessons learned.


There is no such thing as a right age for marriage. It all boils down to the right person. This is my standard answer when somebody asks me when I will tie the knot. However, it would be better if I could slap him straight in the face.


In matters of the heart, you can't regret something that at one point made you truly happy.


We may build walls to protect us from getting hurt. But the truth is, when love comes, we all surrender.


Letting go of someone who will never be yours is indeed quite liberating. It saves you the pain and anguish.


ON LIFE, AS I KNOW IT


Whenever doubts set in, I am always comforted by this line: "If it is meant for you, it will be yours."


Being overly critical about other people's lives is a reflection of one's unhappiness.


Happiness is a choice. It doesn't take a someone or a something to make us happy. It emanates from the self.


It is not right to wish other people harm. It just might backfire on you. And besides, the Man Up There will never listen.


If you obey all the rules, you'll miss all the fun. Digress a little, it won't hurt.


The best lessons one can learn are not those taught in the classroom, but those learned through cumulative life experiences.


What makes life beautiful is its uncertainty. Imagine a world where you can predict anything that will take place. It'll be fun but no thanks!!


We always have this desire to please others, that eventually we end up not showing what we truly are. It's perfectly okay to be you, or in my case, to be me! This is my reality, deal with it! (Notice that the last sentence is this blog's tagline)


LOOKING happy and FEELING happy are two different ideas. In fact, one can exist without the other. But in a utopian world, they should always co-exist. Lucky are those who have both. (sigh!)


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POSTSCRIPT: All these random thoughts have stories behind it --- most are painful, in fact. As they say, even the most painful experiences bring a ray of light that has the capacity to heal a wounded heart.

My Adult Playground

For more than a decade, my battlefield and my playground is a classroom filled with teens with raging hormones.

Stepping inside a classroom was a dreadful activity in the early years of my teaching career. I feared being stared at by these relatively indifferent strangers. I feared being judged for what I said and for what I did not.

It is still a struggle. But I'd like to think that I have learned the tricks of the trade. I no longer feel fidgety before my "audience." Over time, I have mustered enough courage to face them all, without a tiny hint of intimidation.

These kids are in my class for a reason. They want to listen, they want to learn, they want to be involved, they want to be entertained, they want to make a difference. The least I can do is to make them feel that sitting in my class is not a waste of time..

To The Virgins To Make Much of Time

My first attempt at poetry reading. Disaster it is!

Crazy Over My Moleskine

I finally received my first Moleskine notebook ever! I have been salivating over this notebook for so long but unfortunately I couldn't for the life of me shell out a thousand bucks for a writing material. Correction though, it's no ordinary notebook to begin with. It's much more than that. It is a legend on its own.

To my Moleskine donor, you have no idea how much you made me happy! Many thanks to you..

My Two Generations: X and Y

‎"A man is like a cat -- chase him and he will run. Sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet."

I wonder if there is still truth to this statement. Since we are in the 21st century, there has been a paradigm shift in people's perception of what the "norm" should be. Courtship, dating and marriage, included. However, I would like to think of myself as modern conservative. I am aware that I live in a generation where almost everything is done in an instant (thank heavens for modern technology) but I can't just possibly dismiss the things I learned while growing up.

I was raised in two opposing decades, the 80s and the 90s. The former was my childhood and the latter was my adolescence. It was a state of utter confusion. Like any typical Filipino family, I was taught to uphold tradition and discard anything that goes against it. It served me well for it instilled in me an appreciation of my roots -- the very core of my being.

Then came the 90s which arguably was the transition decade -- the bridge that linked the past and the present. It ushered in a whole new generation. Suddenly, people seemed to have a re-awakening of their consciousness. The Western influence had become more widespread. Changes were noted in people's choice of music and fashion. But what was more apparent was the dramatic change in people's ideals and behavior. People had become aware of the concept of individuality and independence. Conformity slowly lost ground. Almost everyone dared to be different. It was the era of self-expression.

Oh well, times are changing. So are we.

A Cheaper Gift

Weeks before my birthday, I have been researching and reading reviews for a gadget that I have been eyeing since last summer. I wanted it so bad that I nearly deprived myself of other necessities just so I could purchase it. In fact, I was setting aside a portion of my meager salary for this particular indulgence.

I am not really "maluho" as others perceive. People close to me can attest to the fact that I don't easily take out cash from my wallet. I even earned the moniker "Maku" which is the shortened form of "makunat."

I have to admit though that I spent quite a lot during my first few years of employment. The thrill of finally earning my own keep overwhelmed me. Gone are the days when I had to beg for money from my folks for everything that I needed. All of a sudden, I was the master of my own pocket! I spent uncontrollably on things that I didn't actually need. When my wallet could no longer satisfy my urge, I applied for a credit card, which made things even worse, but that's another story.

My "lavish" spending didn't last that long. Thank God! I soon realized I had to shape up and do something about my finances. Spending too much on items isn't practical at all. As long as I still have 2 decent pairs of jeans and a couple of presentable tops, I'll be fine. This change of heart probably comes with age. When I was younger, my idea of self-image and self-worth was mainly based on the brands that one has in his closet. Now that I am older, I have learned that one's self-worth depends on his abilities, competencies and achievements.

The item which I was supposed to treat myself with suddenly became an unnecessary distraction. I opted not to purchase it, at the last minute. I figured, if it isn't something I need, why bother?


POSTSCRIPT: I bought a cheaper item, instead. :)

A Day In the Life of....

There was a time that I got so hooked in watching reality shows. Survivor, Amazing Race, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, For Love or Money, The Third Wheel, Blind Date, Millionaire Matchmaker, Beauty and the Geek, Pretty Wicked, High School Reunion, the list just goes on and on... The concept is so unique, unleashing in me the "voyeur in disguise." I love the idea of following people around -- finding out what makes them tick, what makes them laugh, what makes them cry, what makes them who they are.

I wonder what it feels like having cameras around to document your every move. Is it really possible to show the real you when you are aware that somebody is filming you? Somebody told me that one way of finding out whether a person is for show or for real is when you catch him off guard,that is, when he is at his most unguarded moment. And obviously, moments like these only happen when cameras are not rolling.

I have outgrown reality shows. Sure, I still get a glimpse of a few when I channel surf but to stay tuned until the episode finishes?? I would have to think twice.

Isn't it ironic? That a concept branded as "reality" TV can be so unreal???

500 Days of Summer: My Fave Movie of 2009

I have been raving about this movie since last year. It's not what critics would say a critically-acclaimed movie but personally, it's one of those I enjoyed to the hilt. It's witty, well-thought of and the plot isn't something that you find in ultra cheesy romantic comedies.

The beginning scenes kept me hooked. It helped that Zooey Deschanel was irresistibly charming and darn pretty. Next to Alyson Hannigan of How I Met Your Mother fame, Zooey is quirky in a disarming kind of way.

Back to the story of Tom and Summer. Halfway into the movie, I was starting to be convinced that I am Summer. Indifferent and insensitive to the affection being offered by someone who thinks I am a clone of Diane Kruger (that was an exaggeration!). I have always been cynical and jaded especially when emotions are at play. I don't give my trust right away, I always feel that people are nice to me because they want something in return. To me, one's kindness is always triggered by an ulterior motive. With Summer, she loves to make fond of Tom's vulnerability. She is aware that Tom would do anything for her, and so she plays along. Tom becomes an unsuspecting victim of Summer's manipulative nature.

Tom, on the other hand, loves too much that sometimes he forgets himself. He loves freely without expecting anything in return, he loves dearly with not a care in the world. Ironically, his love and affection isn't reciprocated nor appreciated by the person he gave his ALL to.

Close to the ending, I realized I'm not Summer. I am Tom.

My Happiness, Your Misery

What if your own happiness becomes the misery of others? Will you give up your own happiness in order to please them?

I have always been a believer of chasing one's happiness. However, it doesn't come easy. Just when you think that you have found it, along comes a multitude of complications.

Is there a single person out there who can be COMPLETELY happy? By that I mean, to be happy with no worries, no fuss, no prejudices. Happiness that is liberating, not restrained. Is that even possible?

"Ang gusto ko happy ka!"

For my birthday, I received a phone call from a dear friend who is currently based in Abu Dhabi. Without getting into details (because she just might smack me right in my face), her call just made my day..

To you Chons:

We haven't had a lengthy discussion over this new development in your life but, without you telling me, I know that you are genuinely happy. Needless to say, whatever decision you make, I will be right behind you. I certainly appreciate the trust you have given me these past few months. For that alone, I am grateful to have been called your friend.

I know we have the same sentiments about matters pertaining to love. We are both romantic, we love too much that mostly we end up getting hurt --- but hell, that's what loving is about --- SELFLESS.

You have once called me your love guru. Oh, dearie, you just might regret this one. Here's a tip: If I give you a piece of advice, please do the opposite. It might save both our lives.

I have always believed that we should go after what makes us happy. Because ultimately, finding one's happiness is the greatest achievement of all.

My Pet Peeves

What annoys you? What irritates you? What will make you flare up?

I have listed my major pet peeves in the hope that I could get over them and learn that some things are just not worth sweating about. Note, this is in no particular order..


* hair strands on the bathroom floor
* visible dust on my computer keyboard
* delivery trucks that block our driveway
* a missing button on my shirt and school uniforms
* bad hair day
* reckless and inconsiderate drivers who text right in the middle of the road
* loud people who intentionally bother those who obviously want some peace and quiet
* people who take five centuries to answer a text message or a phone call
* passengers of public transportation who are downright insensitive to the needs of others (mga sobrang ingay, mga naninigarilyo, mga may putok, mga nanghihipo)
* Mondays (need I say more?)
* being asked when I will tie the knot
* an empty tissue holder in public restrooms
* people who cuss
* too much PDA
* women who dress like hookers
* misspellings in public signs (eg, COSTUMER parking only)
* kids running around while the holy mass is underway
* men who brag about their fat salary
* people with bad table manners
* noisy eaters
* using speaker phones in public areas
* finding the perfect pair of shoes, only to realize that my size is not available
* people who interrupt me when I'm telling a story and then they tell their own
* people who take forever to order food while I'm in line
* people who get as many as 5 items in a fitting room, obviously insensitive to the long queue of people waiting at the door.
* when something I've been into for a long time becomes popular (e.g. a song originally sung by an unknown singer, then revived by April Boy)
* people who invite me out somewhere then at the last minute, they cancel the plans
* Caps Lock in text or in email (parang galit!)
* salesladies who follow me around as if I were a thief
* people who give unsolicited advice
* people who wear sunglasses indoors
* people who love to name-drop
* a tiny rip on my favorite shirt
* being unable to find what I'm looking for, be it a receipt, a scotch tape or my passport

ANNOYED

A pet peeve is defined as "a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it."

Lately, my boyfriend and I seem to be at odds over petty things -- food choices, weekend plans, phone call schedules, footwear issues, to name a few. To a certain extent, I attribute it to our opposing personalities. He is straightforward, I am indirect. He is calm, I go ballistic most of the time. He is outgoing, I am a homebody. He is logical, I am emotional. He is patient, I am intolerant.

We may have been born poles apart and we may argue quite incessantly but we value each other's uniqueness. Initially, I wanted him to change for me but I soon realized that since I made a choice to be with him, I might as well accept him, including his eccentricities. Because surely, I couldn't imagine how he could put up with my own insanity.

Amazing Race SG and Kuala Lumpur: Alay Lakad Edition

This was the best trip ever! Indeed, time flies so fast when you're having fun.

Top 10 SG memories:

10. Hawkers Center for authentic chicken rice
9. 7-11 breads that work wonders for travelers (pantawid gutom talaga)
8. excessive PDA of lovers inside the Metro Rail
7. friendly cabbies
6. souvenir shops -- truly, a traveler's haven
5. immigration bullies
4. KEEP LEFT to give way to commuters in a rush
3. poker-face pa rin kahit sukang-suka ka na sa amoy
2. walkathon pa rin kahit pudpod na ang swelas
1. ang shopping skills ni Cristina. I swear, para syang nasasaniban pag namimili! This girl needs a straitjacket and handcuffs! lol!

I HATE LOVE

This is how Neil Gaiman defines love...


Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

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POSTSCRIPT: We may build walls to protect us from getting hurt. But the truth is, when love comes, we all surrender.

Individuality In A Relationship

When you enter into a relationship, it does not mean that your personal life stops. Your life does not totally change because you are with another person. You have to maintain your own individuality. You have to have your own personal goals. You need to maintain the friendships, hobbies and interests that you had before you met your partner. If you give these up for the sake of your relationship, you are giving up your life. When your partner first met you, they were attracted to you as an individual. It's important that you keep your individuality-- that's what attracted your partner in the first place. Maintaining your individuality will enable you and your partner to build a mature loving relationship.

Many relationships fail today because one partner has given up too much of themselves for the other. You have to love yourself first, before you can love another. If you enter a relationship and give up all the things that define you as an individual, you are not giving yourself the love that you need. Sooner or later, if you lose your identity, if you stop giving to yourself, you will be unable to give to your relationship.

SOURCE: http://www.enotalone.com/article/1092.

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POSTSCRIPT: This is my personal take on this matter, this article is an eye-opener to all singles out there. We can't be somebody else's shadow just because we agree to be in partnership with him/her. We have a life of our own, and ideally, we should keep our individuality intact. Having said that, we should not allow ourselves to be dictated upon by A-N-Y person.

I know how it feels to lose one's self in someone. Been there, done that. And there is no way I will allow myself to be stuck in that kind of rut. Losing one's identity for the satisfaction of a partner is like losing one's self-worth.